Testing The Theory
by xkissfromarosex
Summary: Sam read somewhere that twisting a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue, and only your tongue, determined how good a kisser you were. Seddie Oneshot.


An extremely random idea that popped into my head as I ate a cherry the other day. But hey, random, is good, right? I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Thanks to everyone that reviewed my other story, 'Sunset'. I really appreciate it! Please review this story too, I love getting feedback.

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly :(

* * *

Sam slammed the fridge door shut, knotting her brows together and letting out a small whine. Carly was beside her, pouring out the iced tea into three tumblers when she noticed her friend's expression.

"What's wrong?"

"You've got nothing to EAT!" Sam moaned dramatically, leaning against the island in the kitchen and closing her eyes, "I haven't eaten in two whole hours, and I feel like I'm gonna die of starvation!"

Carly rolled her eyes and handed Sam a glass. "This is the best I can do until Spencer comes back with the groceries. I'm sure you can survive another half an hour or so."

"But that's the thing, Carls! I don't think I can!" Sam slurped back her iced tea and let the cool liquid quench her thirst somewhat. She plonked the empty glass back down after a few moments and wiped her mouth, letting out a cool sigh.

Carly quirked an eyebrow. "Better?"

"No!" Sam groaned, marching over to the couch and flopping down, face first. Carly followed, a grin on her face. Sam could be a right drama queen at times, but she was always amusing. The brunette picked up Sam's splayed legs to make room.

Sam's eyes brightened as she pondered. "I don't suppose Freddie'd have anything to eat?"

"You can go and look, but judging by his mom, I can imagine his fridge is full of carrot sticks and bowls of celery," Carly grimaced, sipping on her beverage. Sam pulled a face and buried her face in the pillow again. Carly patted her friend's leg fondly. "Why don't we watch some telly, yeah?"

"I thought it was movie night," Sam replied, confused.

"It is. But we've got to wait for Freddie, remember?" Carly flicked through the channels with the remote, trying to block out Sam's grunts of protest and annoyance. She knew that Sam liked Freddie really, and hopefully they'd grow out of their immature spats. Carly knew it was unlikely, but a little bit of hope was better than nothing.

On cue, Freddie entered. Sam perked up, but her expression dropped when she saw he was empty handed.

"Hey," He greeted the girls, plonking himself down next to Carly. Noting Sam's scowl, he inched away, wondering what he could've done. "Uh oh. What's going on?"

"We're out of food, and Sam's getting a _little grumpy_," Carly explained, and Freddie relaxed, knowing he was off the hook for now. Sam grunted something unintelligible as she sat up straight, clutching her stomach.

"Right then," Carly jumped up and grabbed the DVDs from the side, "We've got two choices. There's a new one that Spencer picked up earlier, he said you'd enjoy this, Freddie," She tossed the DVD at Freddie, who picked it up and read the blurb.

"I've been wanting to see this for ages! Where did he get it?" Freddie exclaimed.

Carly shrugged. "I dunno. What is it?"

"It's called _'Space Race' _and it's all about these intergalactic wars raging across the universe. There's this hero, Mike Wallydud-"

"Mike Wallydud?" Sam repeated, as Carly bit back a giggle.

"Yes. Mike Wallydud. Anyway, his home planet's under threat, and he's lost all hope, and then this other guy-"

Sam and Carly exchanged a look. "No offence, dork, but that sounds like a load of chiz. What else we got?" Sam yawned.

"How can I get offended when you speak to me like that?" Freddie retorted. Sam shot him a hard look and was about to respond before Carly cut in.

"Uh, there's also a romantic comedy."

Freddie pulled a face, but he was overruled by Sam.

"Yeah, why not. I could do with a laugh," The blonde announced, as Carly did a small victory dance. Freddie slumped back in his seat. _Great,_ he thought. _Two hours of torture, and it's not even inflicted by Sam._

_"_Freddie, your iced tea's on the table," Carly offered, jerking her thumb towards the beverage. Freddie rose to his feet, retrieved it from the table and settled back down again. Sam's stomach rumbled, as if reminding the blonde that she was ignoring her needs. She pulled a pillow over her abdomen to stifle out the sound. With a chuckle, Carly slotted the DVD in the player and dimmed the lights. "Is everyone comfy?"

Freddie and Sam nodded, and the movie began.

* * *

Spencer came in about half way through the movie. He was momentarily startled to see his apartment bathed in darkness, before he remembered that it was Carly's movie night. The teens offered him nonchalant greetings as he made his way over to the fridge to put away the groceries.

"What'cha watching?" He asked, squinting at the TV.

"It's called 'The Final Love'," Carly responded, not tearing her eyes away from the screen.

"And it's so awful, it's actually funny," Freddie finished. Spencer raised his eyebrows as he unpacked, listening to the cries of fictional adolescence from the television.

"What you got there?" Sam asked, as Spencer pulled out the remaining food stuff from the grocery bag. He read the package.

"Cherries."

"Hand 'em over," She ordered. Spencer cocked his head to the side, before chucking them her way. She was just going to eat them later. Why delay the inevitable? Sam grinned and ripped the packet open, gorging on the cherries straight away. "Anyone wa' on?" She offered, her mouth full of fleshy red fruit. She thrust the package out towards her friends, who took the food warily.

"I didn't know you actually liked fruit," Freddie observed. Sam pulled a stem off a cherry and threw it at him.

"I'm not fussy. Food's food, Fredward."

Freddie picked the stalk from his hair and entwined it between his fingers, playing with it absently. Spencer shuffled off to his room, and they settled down to watch the rest of the movie. Freddie glanced over at Carly, who had a bright smile on her face, as usual. She could find the joy in anything, even in a crappy movie like 'The Final Love'. His eyes then landed on Sam, who was too busy enjoying a cherry to be focusing on the movie in-front of them. But that was Sam. The rest of the world didn't matter to her if she had a piece of food in her hand.

He studied her eating the cherry. She was surprisingly delicate with the fruit, despite her eternal hunger and her big mouth. She plucked the stem from the top of the cherry in one sharp movement, before sinking her teeth into the juicy goodness below the red skin. She gnawed around the cherry pit in the middle, until that was all that was left. She then licked her lips deftly and set the pip down, smiling at herself.

Freddie was impressed, and suddenly a lot more interested in watching the blonde consuming the cherries than the movie. It was an art.

As she took another one from the packet, without warning, he had the strangest feeling.

Shockingly, he wanted to _be_ that cherry.

Freddie Benson wanted to be_ eaten_ by Sam Puckett. What had the world come to?

The cherry she was currently devouring sprayed cherry juice down her chin, and Sam stuck out her tongue and lapped this up. Freddie's eyes widened, suddenly flinching as Carly giggled at something on the screen. His eyes flickered over to Sam, who he found was staring straight back at him.

"Ew, Sam!" Carly cried, pointing to her friend's remarkable pile of cherry pits, "That's horrible! Throw them away!"

"Aww!" Sam grumbled, "But I wanted to have a cherry pit spitting fight!"

"As...._appetising_ as that sounds, Sam, I can't spit without a pit, let alone actually _with_ one. If that makes sense," Carly considered, before she turned up the volume on her remote and drank in the movie. It had got to the part when the jock had just realised his feelings for the school misfit. She titled her head to the side and 'awwed'. Sam arched an eyebrow and ate the last cherry.

Freddie tried to concentrate on the movie, but it was all blurry pictures that made no sense to him. He'd managed to figure out that something bad had happened to the main woman, but he was so busy fixating on the girl he was _supposed_ to hate that he hadn't noticed what exactly _had_ happened.

"Right!" Sam declared, pausing the remote, "This movie's been going on for _waaay _too long. I would've preferred to watch that nerdy spacey one that Fredwina wanted to see. Maybe Mike Wallyman would've been fitter than this guy," She indicated to the actor who was frozen on screen.

"Wally-dud," Freddie corrected her.

"Whatever," She countered.

"C'mon, it's nearly the end! I'd like to know what happens. It may be rubbish, but we might as well know what happens in the end We've come so far..." Carly persuaded them, batting her eyelashes at Freddie, who crumbled. Sam snapped the cherry stalk she'd been toying with in annoyance.

Carly looked at a resigned Sam and pressed the 'play' button on the remote. The room filled with swells of romantic music as the jock declared his undying love for the school misfit, before capturing her in a kiss.

The cynic she was, Sam looked away, more interested in the cherry stalks than romance. Love didn't happen like that. There wasn't a fifty piece orchestra by your side, there wasn't the clichéd setting of the prom, and there certainly wasn't the perfect boy.

Carly sniffed as the movie credits rolled into view, signifying that it was finally over. Sam stretched her legs and yawned.

"Well that was two hours of my life wasted," She stated, ignoring the looks from her friends. Carly brushed herself down and pointed at the mess Sam had made with the cherries.

"Clean this up, Sam."

"What?"

"You have to! You ate most of them!" Carly reminded her lightly. Sam flapped a hand submissively and began to collect up the cherry pits. Freddie scooped up his cherry stalks and handed them over to her.

"You don't have to help," Sam brushed him off, before adding; "Dork," for good measure.

Freddie span his eyes to the ceiling as Carly went to see Spencer. Sam was stubborn, but he could be persistent when he wanted to be. He continued to pick up the pits, musing to himself. Sam watched him carefully pick up the cherry stems, and thought popped into her head. She'd read somewhere that twisting a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue, and _only_ your tongue, determined how good a kisser you were.

"Hey Freddie. Can you do something for me?"

"What?" He said sucpiciously.

She produced the cherry stem and held it out to him. "Can you twist this cherry stalk into a knot without using your hands?"

"Uh...why would I want to do that?"

"Just try it," She repeated, indignant. Freddie took it off her cagily and stuck the stem in his mouth. Sam folded her arms, scrutinizing him. After about a minute, he pulled out the stem, which had a thick knot in the middle of it.

Interesting.

"I did it," He mumbled, as if it wasn't already obvious, "Why did you make me do that?"

"I was testing a theory."

"What theory?" Freddie asked, exasperated. She smiled back mischievously, which aggravated him even more. "Can you do it?"

Sam scoffed and plucked another stem from the table. She planted the stem in her mouth and swirled her tongue around, folding it into half and manoeuvring it into a knot. Half a minute late, she produced a knotted stem. She grinned proudly.

"So we can both do it. What's the theory?"

"You're the internet nerd. Look it up!" She challenged him, as Carly flew back into the room. Sam averted her eyes from Freddie and focused on Carly asking her whether she was staying round. Freddie noticed the time and told them he'd better go. Before he left, he shot Sam one last look, to which she responded with by poking out her tongue.

* * *

His mom had gone to bed, so Freddie opened up his laptop and waited for it to load. He tapped his fingers against it impatiently as he pondered over that night's events. Sam annoyed him like hell, but he still couldn't stop thinking about her.

The Internet started up slowly, but finally, it was ready. He typed furiously into the keypad and clicked 'search'. He selected the first website, which had a long list of what it meant if you could twist a cherry stem into a knot using your tongue. He scanned through it quickly.

The gist of it all was that if you could knot a cherry stem, you were considered an _excellent_ kisser.

Freddie nearly forgot how to breathe. It all made sense now. And hey, he was a good kisser! It had only taken him a minute to knot the cherry stem, and he'd only kissed once.

He began to wonder why Sam had asked him that. He clicked on a few more websites, which all told him the same thing. He snapped his laptop shut and snuggled into bed, pretty confused. He was a good kisser, and that was great news.

But why had Sam wanted to know?

He felt himself drift into a light sleep, before a tap on the window jolted him awake. He picked up his baseball bat and edged towards the window, peeking through the curtains. He opened the window up slightly, and screamed when he saw a face. A hand clamped over his mouth swiftly.

"Shhh!" A female voice commanded, "It's me! Sam!"

She pulled her hand away as Freddie switched his nightlight on.

"You scared the freakin' _life _out of me!" He whispered angrily. Sam flopped onto his bed.

"Oh, get over it, you wuss," She mumbled. She took in his nightlight and cocked an eyebrow wryly, "I like your nightlight."

Freddie ignored her. "What are you doing here? And...how did you climb to the eighth floor?"

"I was staying round Carly's, remember? I climbed round the fire escapes 'til I found yours. It was really fun, actually. Gave me a real rush," Sam grinned, "And I came to see if you'd figured it out yet."

Freddie joined her on the bed. "Yeah, I did, actually. And I wondered why you asked."

"I told you. I was simply testing a theory, and you were the first person there, so I took a chance. Don't flatter yourself."

"Did it work?" Freddie asked.

"Did _what _work?"

"Your theory."

Sam scrunched her face up in thought, and Freddie couldn't help thinking how adorable she looked.

"We kissed a _long,_ _long_ time ago. I can't really remember," She announced, chewing on her lip.

"I think we can refresh your memory," He smiled, cupping her face with his hand and pressing his lips to hers. It was a few moments before they pulled away, and another few moments before either spoke.

"It worked," Sam proclaimed quietly. Freddie took her hand and he found that he had to agree.

* * *

In the end, Sam was right. Love doesn't happen like it does in the movies. It's awkward and confusing and tastes like cherries and pent-up teenage angst.

There wasn't a fifty piece orchestra by her side, there wasn't the clichéd setting of the prom, but there certainly was her perfect boy. And a whole lot of cherry stems.


End file.
